Issue602
Jenny: Let me have a look at the body.
She examines the body for a moment.
Jenny: Just as I suspected. See the bones, Doctor Depp?
Johnny: Yes, of course. You don’t mean?
Jenny: I do. The bullets are just meant to distract us from the true murder weapon.
Johnny: Oy! The knife wounds! Bloody brilliant cover up. Bollocks!
Jenny: Indeed. I know our murderer. Follow me to the briefing room.
Nick, Jenny, and Johnny exit, while Solomon and Jess linger.
Jess: Your wife, huh?
Solomon: Uh. Yeah. Heh. I um. Guess I uh…should have maybe mentioned that?
Jess: You think!?
Solomon: We should probably get to the briefing room.
He exits, followed by Jess.
Everyone arrives in the briefing room.
Jenny: Ok, everyone. I have been following this case for a long time. So listen up so you can all be brought up to speed.
Jess: Yeah. Lets get all the facts. It’s always good to have ALL. THE. FACTS.
Dick: Heh heh.
Jenny points to some photos that are taped to the white board.
Jenny: The murderer is none other than Drug Cartel Overlord Danny Trejo a.k.a. BONING!
Dick: Why do they call him Boning?
Jenny: Because of his weapon of choice: A Boning knife. He uses it to kill his victims and to remove some bones as a trophy. Alternatively he uses it on living victims to make room in their bodies to smuggle drugs across the border. Nearly impossible to catch. It seems Mr.Boning has expanded his horizons to boning babies.
Jess: Despicable! (She glares at Solomon and crosses her arms)
Jenny: Indeed. So we all know what we’re dealing with. Let’s get out there and nail this bendejo.
They lock and load and then exit. Maybe Moses pops in to say Lock and Load since it is his catch phrase. Yeah.
Jess: So when were you planning on telling me that you’re married?
Solomon: Look. I. I don’t know. We’re separated, okay? It’s not like we’re still together.
Jess: But you aren’t divorced?
Solomon: No. Well. Not yet. I mean. She won’t sign the papers.
Jess: What? That means she still wants to be together!
Solomon: That’s not happening, okay? Look. I. Can we talk about this later?
Jess: Fine, but you aren’t getting out of this, Solomon Slick!
Cut to commercial.
MAXmail
Victoria: Oh my god.
Romeo: What?
Victoria: Walter, you can't say boning babies.
Max: HAHAHAHAHA!
Romeo: What? Why not? I don't get it. I mean. I know its grim, but that's the point. To show that he is a really really bad guy. Cause he smuggles drugs. In babies. After boning them.
Max: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god he really just said that! Oh man. This is awesome.
Victoria: Damn it, Max.
Victoria: Walter. There is a double meaning to that. You really don't understand?
Romeo: Ummmm...no? I guess not. : l
Max: Well, Victoria? Explain it to him.
Victoria: We'll just fix it in editing.
Romeo: What is it? I wanna know.
Victoria: Ask your mother.
Max: Oh man. That was great.