Doctor Cops

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Issue601

Jess: I had a great time last night.

Solomon: Yeah me too, we should do it again soon.

Jess: How bout tonight?

Solomon: Tonight is great. Provided Dick doesn’t keep us here all night.

Jess: Yeah do you know anything about the case?

Solomon: Not really. Johnny will fill us in when we get down to the morgue.

Jess: Johnny?

Solomon: Yeah. You know. Johnny. The mortician.

Jess: Oh! That Johnny. Right.

Solomon: What? You thought I meant the new guy? The intern?

Jess: Ha ha! Yeah. Silly me.

 

 

 

 

Elsewhere, in the morgue, Dick and Johnny the mortician examine a body on the table- the body is not shown. Dick looks concerned, but Johnny is all aloof and weird and stuff. Maybe he is on drugs.

Dick: You’re sure?

Johnny: Absolutely, mate.

Dick: We’re gonna get these sons of bitches.

Johnny: The Luitenniant is bringing in an outside Agent to help on the case. She’s a bloody specialist, been following the Cartels for a while apparently.

Dick: Federal? From the FBMI*?

Johnny: DEAD*, I believe, mate. Cheerio.

 

 

*Federal Bureau of Medical Investigations

**Drug Enforcement Agency of Doctors. (Writers Note: HOW AWESOME IS THAT ACRONYM???)

 

Solomon and Jess arrive at the morgue.

Solomon: Hey, Dick. Johnny. What’s up?

 

 

Johnny: Ahoy! Gruesome case we’ve got on our hands here, Mateys. We found a corpse full of bullet holes with a crying baby in his arms. And the baby is loaded up with drugs. Its a baby drug smuggling ring from Mexico. Bloody awful stuff, mate.

Jess: That’s terrible!

Solomon: Babies and drugs? The cartel? Say, Dick, uh, any chance the DEAD will be assisting with this case? Sending a Pediatriciagent perhaps?

Dick: Absolutely. Ah look, that must be her now.

Enter, Jenny.

 

Jenny: Hola. I am the DEAD agent sent here to assist on the drug baby smuggling case. Oh. Hello, Solomon.

 

Jess: Solomon? You know her?

Solomon: She’s…my wife!

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

MAXmail

↓ Transcript
Max: Yeah...yeah ok I guess that is a pretty kick ass acronym.

Romeo: YES! I knew you would have to like that one!

Victoria: Well done, Walter.

Romeo: Thanks, Victoria!

Max: But you really want Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck's Ex-Fiance, to play his wife?

Romeo: Yes! They will be perfect! She does a show with her ex-husband, so why not her ex-fiance as well? Don't worry, they are obviously not still together, so they will have an easy time acting out their marital quarrels! It'll be so dramatic!

Victoria: Not to mention the fact that JLo is a hollow shell of a person who would sell her soul for attention.

Max: WOW! That came from out of nowhere. And it was awesome. She is SO hired.

Romeo: O_O Victoria! I am shocked.

Victoria: Anyway, Walter, this looks like a promising episode. Good work.

Romeo: Thanks! I decided to split it up according to commercial breaks so that you could feel the suspense!

Max: No. No no no no no- no way. You are not getting off that easily. We are continuing this conversation.

Romeo: Huh?

Victoria: Ugh. He was talking to me, Walter. Send that second part. We'll get back to you. He is likely on his way to my desk. Yup. Here he comes. With a big dumb smirk on his face, of course.

Romeo: :O uh-oh! Good luck, Victoria! Talk to you soon.

TiVo

This comic was posted: April 27th, 2012

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